December 17, 2014

I FINALLY Learned How To Snowboard: True Story From A Texas Girl

“This has got to get fun soon!”, I thought as I picked myself up for the umteenth time that day on the slopes. My triceps ached…my tailbone had felt better days… my neck muscles had been rearranged slightly. The burning of my legs from using muscles that had been hibernating until now sent messages to my brain that I’d had enough.

Having moved from Texas to Summit County in 2001, at the ripe old age of 22, I bought the whole snowboard gear set up late that fall and was ready to conquer the slopes with my brand new snow hobby that I had never experienced. 

Learning how to snowboard is challenging!

Some compare it to a football game, catching your edge and smacking on the snowpack is a beating. There is a reason why I never played football,  hitting the ground that many times in a day never appealed to me. And that’s why I chose not to play football, but here I am sitting on the side of a mountain wishing there were other options to get to the bottom other than body slamming my way down the hill.

Do they give complimentary snowmobile rides down the hill to exhausted learners?  Honestly, it should be a service offered, or a box I can check as I sign up for my pass. “Are you a first time snowboarder? Check Yes or No.” “Will you be needing assistance should you find yourself frustrated on the mountain? Simply call this number when you’ve given up and we will send a handsome ski patroler to come sweep you away and take you safely to apre ski. You won’t have to worry your pretty little head about being strapped into this death trap anymore.” Why didn’t the lift ticket come with this option?

(This is were you would like me to insert the magical instructions of “How to Snowboard”, and by reading them you will be able to bypass the suffering of the learning curve. Well, not going to happen. You wouldn’t listen anyway.)

By the fourth time on the slopes, it finally started to click! Balance and coordination had made their debut. No more perturbed sulking, watching seasoned snowboarders fly around me down the mountain, only to aggravate my condition. I could now stay vertical for longer than a  minute. I was catching on, it started making sense!

Wait a minute………  This IS fun!

The hours of torment have payed off.

I finally learned how to snowboard!

(And you will too)

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